long story short i'm an avocado stuck in the body of a girl

i sweat my way through the day

fun fact #1: avocados are naturally a very nervous creature that can be spooked easily so please speak softly and keep your big stick hidden inside a nicely designed satchel

fun fact #2: avocados thrive on anime and fast food

fun fact #3: i am not an avocado

blein:

sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS A BUNCH OF LAPTOPS SO HE TOOK THE SUITCASE AND RAN AND I JUST 

(Source: elderstunningham, via parkingstrange)

Notes
391525
Posted
2 hours ago
straight couple:*make out in public at random intervals in weird places*
straight couple:*grabs each other's asses in public*
straight couple:*are not in any way inconspicuous about the fact that they are feeling each other up in public*
gay couple:*holds hands in public*
straight people:that is VILE and it is CORRUPTING my entire FAMILY. my grandmother is crying. my children have all shit their pants at the same time. WHO WILL THINK OF THE CHILDREN
Notes
30423
Posted
7 hours ago

heckn:

WHEN YOU SEE MY FACE HOPE IT GIVES YOU   heck

(Source: rchael, via livlastr)

Notes
214696
Posted
7 hours ago

inbox:

is hitting children with your car considered bullying

(via hotboyproblems)

Notes
217374
Posted
9 hours ago

this anime is obviously a romantic comedy!

(Source: erwiiinsmith, via beyondthebooty)

Notes
1499
Posted
9 hours ago

speakeasytherapy:

allkillernofiller:

accidentally bumps into someone

image

"you don’t have to keep apologizing" 

image

(via gnarly)

Notes
370474
Posted
9 hours ago
feministsupernatural:

royaltyfashion:

royalwatcher:

this picture is killing me

Everybody trying to help The Queen and then there’s Puttin

Putin doesn’t even try not to look like the villain from a James Bond movie.

feministsupernatural:

royaltyfashion:

royalwatcher:

this picture is killing me

Everybody trying to help The Queen and then there’s Puttin

Putin doesn’t even try not to look like the villain from a James Bond movie.

(via time-doesnt-wait-for-me)

Notes
123712
Posted
10 hours ago
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